Songs

A Dollar, a Nickel, a Penny, a Dime

Score image

Go tell him to weave an organic hemp shirt,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
‘Cause cotton is grown in the pesticide dirt,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Go tell him to stop eating so much meat,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
And sugar and dairy and junk food and wheat,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Go tell him to plant a community garden,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
Buy everything else at the farmer’s market,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Go tell him to drive an electric car,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
Or ride next to me on the bike boulevard,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Go tell her to find me some good steady work,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
With dental and health and the usual perks,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Go tell her to find me a bank that won’t fail,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
And credit to pay for an iPhone on sale,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Go tell her my mortgage to modify,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
Pay all of my bills, file my taxes on time,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

And when I break even and have what I need,
A dollar, a penny, a nickel, a dime,
Then maybe I’ll think about planting some seeds,
Then he’ll be a true lover of mine.

Long-time member and folknik Reviews Editor Lisa Hubbell writes: “I woke up from a dream with an assignment to update the verses of Child #2 (‘The Lover’s Tasks”), with contemporary impossible tasks. It struck me that different things are impossible for different people. These would-be lovers may seem incompatible, but are both drawn from my own experience.

“The tune (except for the first line, which I’ve changed) and the last-line refrain were collected by Cecil Sharp and Maud Karpeles from Mrs. Cis Jones at Manchester, Clay County, Kentucky.”


Ed’s Song

When we lost long-time member Ed Bronstein last December, we lost a charming singer, a fine guitarist, and a prolific songwriter. While Ed was famous (or infamous) for songs like “The Outhouse of Our Dreams” and “Fa-ha-ha-ha-hart Song,” such songs were only a small part of his output. He wrote parodies of traditional ballads, silly songs like “Cuckoo for Cucamonga,” a paean to the sound of the name “Edna St. Vincent Millay” (he liked her poetry, but he loved her name), satires like “Sex Therapy,” and poignant love songs like “Much Too Unhappy to Cry.” Here's one of his love songs. Thanks to Joe Lavelle and Charlotte Meloney for helping us get the score together.

Score image

Each day at work or play you are in my heart
Each day sunshine or gray I wonder why we are apart
Each night, turn out the light, I dream the whole night through
And then it seems, you're in all of my dreams, 'cause I love you.

Time flows, time goes, waiting for your return
I suppose nobody knows, how much I truly yearn
Some day we'll find a way to set our lives anew
Rekindle the flame and then I'll proclaim that I love you.

Many of Ed’s songs and poems have been published in The Joy of Human Frailty (under his pseudonym “Biggs Tinker”). We don't know how many more are squirreled away in notebooks, desk drawers, and disk drives; some may forever remain tantalizing half-complete memories from Club musical meetings —which is a roundabout way of saying, if you have the words to “Don't Be a Troglodyte, Harold,” send them in! All we have is the chorus:

Don’t be a troglodyte, Harold,
Put the toilet seat back in its place!
You caused me an accident
And there you stand with a smile on your face.
I swear you’re a troglodyte, Harold,
And if what I say makes you frown,
Remember that only a troglodyte
Forgets to put the toilet seat down!


Correction: Last issue we wrote that Jo D’Anna's song “My Heart Will Live” appears on her first CD, Alouwenja. Actually, it appears on her latest CD, As She Is. Both CDs are for sale at the Folk Club (in the foyer) for $10; all proceeds go to support the Club.


The folknik song pages are lovingly produced by Kay Eskenazi, John Kelly, and Barbara Millikan. John Kelly produced the song pages for this issue.

If you’d like to submit a song for possible publication, please send a score, tape/CD or (preferably) both to —

Copyright for all songs published on this page remains with the authors.